Watchmen

by Matthew Rodgers

Labelled with the “unfilmable” tag for nearly 20 years, in which time the visionary genius of Terry Gilliam and technically gifted talent of Paul Greengrass both passed on directing. And more recently, publicly dissed by creator Alan Moore (hardly surprising given the treatment of The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen and V for Vendetta) with the “do we really need another sh*t movie out there?” statement. Watchmen arrives with anticipation and trepidation in equal measure, and judging by the final results, justifiably so, because this is as close to a Watchmen movie as an adaptation of the critically lauded graphic novel could ever be. That doesn’t make it a great movie though.

Jumping from the restrictions of the illustrated box this complex caper weaves the Altman-esque tale of retired superheroes; Night Owl (Patrick Wilson – Lakeview Terrace) battles impotency, Silk Spectre (Malin Ackerman – The Heartbreak Kid) struggles with the imposing reputation of her crime-fighting mother, Dr Manhattan (Billy Crudup – M:I:3) is transcending his human form to become an emotionless, egomaniac whose pantless existence is the least of his problems, and finally of the more prominent mask-bearers there is Rorshach (Jackie Haley Early – Little Children), the only active member of the crime-fighting fraternity, and the plot catalyst for an investigation when The Comedian is brutally murdered within the first fifteen minutes.

The rest of the plot is too condense, existential, intricate, and any other descriptive word to indicate complicated/bloated that you can think of. Working on the page as a medium in which you can gestate the information over a period of time is one thing, as a three hour noir epic masquerading as “comic book movie” many of the uninitiated will be left surprised by the lethargy if proceedings.

Dawn of the Dead remake (held in quite high esteem by most) and 300 (all style, no substance) director Zak Snyder has no trouble creating a beautiful film; the opening credit sequence set to Bob Dylan’s “The Times They Are A Changing” and the “Unforgettable” comedian murder sequence, both inside the opening 15 minutes are stunning, and perhaps unfairly set a standard of excitement that the remaining 2 hours plus, cannot match.

Snyder must also be applauded for his faithful approach to the material. Tales of the Black Freighter will be included on the dvd release, so sit down you at the back in the smiley face t-shirt. And as for the squid, which for the sake of remaining spoiler-free to those approaching the movie with a clean slate will not be contextually disclosed, you can sit down again at the back because a suitable substitute is in place that does the same job, and actually maintains a slightly more grounded level of realism.

Be warned though that this is not suitable for all, it requires a tolerance level beyond one that the poster suggests, this isn’t a breezy X-Men (The Last Stand anyway) style romp; there’s rape, abuse, language, exposed genitalia and graphic brutality that transcends the confines of “comic book violence” that made 300’s slow-mo brutality acceptable. This is a bad, bad world.

Opting for a low-key cast was also something of a masterstroke, the characters are at the forefront and the majority of them excel. Early’s “Chandler-esque” narration, grimaced features, and gravel voiced delivery is perfect for Rorshach, easily the outstanding performance of Watchmen. Crudup pushes him close though with a CG burdened turn, his gentle manner and the briefest flickers of emotion lift an otherwise thankless role. Ackerman isn’t the weak link that the early buzz suggested, even if she is guilty for being in one of the most ridiculous sex-scenes OF ALL TIME with Patrick Wilson’s (also commendably good) Night Owl.

It’s the lack of villain or obvious threat that hinders Watchmen. A doomsday clock that counts down the hours to judgement day, and a pompous multi-millionaire, Ozymandias (Matthew Goode living up to his name), who’s aloof megalomania isn’t nearly imposing enough, meaning that the film plateaus and never actually reaches a satisfying climax.

Watchmen is worth seeing, especially on the big-screen to utilise its impressive visuals, for it is another intelligent step in the right direction after The Dark Knight, its just nowhere near as much fun.